Forgive me FSP, for I have not blogged.
My job has been kicking my butt of late. But it pays the bills, so I cannot complain too much. But I have been coming home completely drained of creative energy. Thus my blog has suffered. So I am getting back on the horse today.
It is damp dank Monday. It has been rainy and gray all day. My mood was a similar of a similar pallor. Then I went to lunch and it got worse. Russell!
There I was enjoying my fatty grilled cheese and bacon sandwich when a voice from the past interrupted me. Russell is one of god’s extras that was tangential part of my life when I went to another church, a lifetime ago. Russell was a pilgrim on the same Emmaus retreat where I received my so called “calling.” In fact, I was on a walk with him when I made the *connection* of what god wanted me to do with my life. Needless to say he is a part of my life that I would sooner forget.
He asked me how I was and where I was going to church. I gave the obligatory name of my place of worship and a noncommittal “good”. He lied and said I looked great. <My god you’ve gotten fat!> I could tell he wanted to delve deeper. He brought up Emmaus and said that he had just gotten back from an Emmaus weekend. <where the hell have you been?> I smiled brightly and said, “That’s great.”
I am very uncomfortable when I am in a situation that I cannot be honest. But I figured the middle of Santini’s was not the best place to confess that…I have all but lost my faith…lost my calling…my mentor committed suicide…and I am just starting to come out of a 10 year black hole… But I think that was all implied in my “good.” No?
Then I got back to my office and surfed for 15 minutes. I just happened to see a recent picture of James Waterston You’re probably asking yourself, “who the hell is James Waterston?” Well this is your lucky day, cause I am going to tell you. He was Pitts in The Dead Poets Society.
So?!
Well he was my doppelganger in college. We looked almost identical except for the fact that he had better skin and a cleft chin <bastard>. When I first saw DPS, I was unnerved by seeing myself on the screen. Luckily that is not a problem any longer. He has aged well…and Me??? Well let’s just say we are no longer twins. <grumble grumble>
It is Monday. I guess I should not expect better.
the sun will come up tomorrow, if you dont feel better fuck it. It’ll come up again the next day
LOL…or there is always better living through pharmacology. Xanex take me away!!!
Thanks for stopping by.
hahaha we ARE having a similar day
hope things get better
Ben, I so glad to see a post from you. Your connection with a look-alike ‘star’ used to happen with me quite a bit. Bette Midler. Fuck if I know why, excpt that I had seriously curly red hair, big boobage played the piano and sang.
Well, still play the piano and sing, Boobs have been subjected to that bastard gravity and the hair has been dyed black and purple (or punk pink) for the last 8 years.
The weight thing…. oh FSM I can relate.
Be well. Keep on keepin’ on.
Your new nickname is the Divine Miss M.
Bette Midler…a person could do worse than be a mermaid in a wheelchair.
It is funny, you Icon reminds me of a recent picture of one of my friends from college
http://noiseinthevoid.wordpress.com/?attachment_id=2979
LOL…I feel better already!
Good gawd y’all. It’s Lisa!
hahahaha. great picture of Lisa. Bette was my icon back in the day. I too began cutting my musical chops in gay bars, but in LA not NYC.
You’ll also love that my screen name on several sites is still ‘The Deranged Miss R’
Liking the original Divine better these days.
See you’ve made me smile today as well!! xo
Those sleepy eyes of yours got to make the women swoon!
What is your aging secret?
I adhere to a strict deep fried diet with Snickers supplements.