2c the shiny me

Choking between layers of fat is the best version of me.

Network Marketing

When I was about 25, my boss invited me to a breakfast with “local business leaders.” I was kind of honored. I thought he might be sponsoring me for the Rotary or Elks club. Everyone was dressed in business attire. We arrived a few minutes late, but the guy who was speaking was very inspirational. […]

Eleanor Rigby

Last Sunday, I attend a new church for the second time. During the sermon, I found myself thinking, “Why do I do this?” Why indeed. I can think of dozens of “Why nots.” But I am running short on “whys.” The only thing I could come up with is that I am lonely. But is it […]

Of Santa’s and Saviors

I am not feeling it this year, Christmas that is. Secular or sacred, it does not matter. I just want December to be over. I just want 2014 to be over. I just want winter to be over. I wish life came with a Tivo remote so that I could fast forward through the unpleasant […]

Attachment and Engagement

Here are thoughts for a rainy day from a practicing agnostic Christian Buddhist. I have been struggling of late with the third noble: suffering is the result of attachment. I think what I got hung up on was the antonym of attachment: detachment. Detachment denotes aloofness. Visions of a monk in a cave come to […]

Hilarious

When my son is in the hospital, my wife and I take shifts staying overnight with him. That way there is always one coherent parent present when Drs and nurses come by. In this last 6 day stint, Monday was one of my nights off. When I got home I was so keyed up, I […]

Lament of a Tired Soul

I have a favorite poem. It is the “Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock” by T. S. Eliot. It is a poem of a tired soul. The first stanza in particular resonates with me today. Let us go then, you and I, When the evening is spread out against the sky Like a patient etherized […]

The Black Hole

Deep inside of me there is a black hole. It is a malevolent mass of pure evil. Were it to be freed, I might be capable of doing unthinkable things. Usually, it is under wraps. It is buried so deeply in my psyche, that under normal circumstances, I cannot even access it. But under prolonged […]

The Long Slog

Most days, VACTERL is just a pain in the ass. It’s just time consuming and it wastes your child’s time, your time and family time. There is a checklist of tasks that you must worry about every day, which normal families take for granted. But over time any set of tasks can become routine to […]

The Swinger

When my son was first born, I was on the cusp of going into the ministry. Because I was quasi clergy, I felt that I had to put a positive spin on everything. I said obnoxious things like, “thank God this happened to us. We have the resources and a strong relationship. We can deal […]