Groupy

I start this post with a quote.

I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member.

 –Woody Allen as Alvy Singer in Anne Hall

Something rather unexpected has happened.  I joined a … … not sure what to call it.  It is a group.  I can say that with absolute confidence.  But defining it is beyond my descriptive powers.  That is probably a good thing.  Labels tend to ruin things.

Group good…Ben like…

The group is called Imagine, based loosely on the song by Lennon.  The members are a wide assortment of individuals: seekers, people who have been disillusioned (my particular subcategory) and just regular church folk looking for more.  There are some like me that have been living in “Christiania” all there life as well as people who were adult converts and for that matter those who make no claim to conversion at all.  The perspectives are as more diverse than a typical study group.

But what amazes me, is that someone can tell their story from a completely different point of view and something in it resonates.  And the facilitators are great about not pushing dogma or trying to enforce orthodoxy.

What more freakish is that this just fell into my lap.  I did not seek it out at all.  It just happened.  It provides exactly what I need for this point in my life:  a safe environment where I can explore my faith (or lack thereof).  I would say it is providence…except I don’t believe in providence.  I may have to reexamine that stance.

The hardest thing for me is not dominating the conversation.  I have bottled up this crap for almost a decade.  I share it on this blog, but there is no substitute for human interaction.  I could have blabbed all night.  To quote the book of James, “shut your cake hole once in a while.”  (That was a paraphrase)  Listening to other people’s stories is like taking a hit of Albuterol after a 10 year asthma attack. I can feel their words coursing through dark dusty corners of my soul.

For the first time in years, I have something to look forward to.

Imagine that!