Well today I took step one in restoring my faith. I reached out to someone I need to forgive in order to get back on the path.
I left my old church under less than ideal circumstances. The bitterness and anger have left a cancer on my soul.
I do not want to see this person or anyone else from my old church. Frankly I never wanted to see any of these people again. But I find that I am projecting my anger on the new people that come into my life. It is not healthy. I wish I were not so petty.
I am sure they have moved on. But I am stuck. Though I want to turn my back on God and pretend he does not exist. At my core, I know this is not consistent with my true beliefs. The only way I can think of to return to God is to forgive the people I now hate.
Forgiveness is a bitch. I wish I could just forget this whole mess.
